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17.05 on a Friday is the best time of the week.

This is the nostalgia we need to focus on.

Call me fucking crazy, but if you want people to not believe you are a sociopath, it's better not to constantly court the limelight and perform stand up about that time you were implicated in a woman's brutal murder and wrongly incriminated an innocent man... Doing it feels very sociopath, tbh.

So, we crashed a bit of rocket into the moon at 5400mp/h For Science, but we didn't think to make sure we could film it?

Joey Tribbiani's Suspicious Look (Friends)Alt: Joey Tribbiani's Suspicious Look (Friends)static.klipy.com

Head of Facilities - at a big-ass company that is a member of Inclusive & Disability Confident schemes, said today, "What's an Equality Impact Assessement? What do we do, just write it down and say it's all fine?" Son, you are talking to the Ability Chairs. And not because "it's fine."

Well, it has been an obnoxious fucking day. A day so obnoxious it gave me heartburn.

RNLI telling people not to rescue their dogs from water. Fuck off, RNLI.

It is raining in Sussex. Barely.

Elmo in the Rain with LightningAlt: Elmo in the Rain with Lightningstatic.klipy.com

God, I hope it's like kicking a wasps' nest - just thousands of little alien drones, absolutely livid. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

What will happen when a SpaceX rocket collides with the Moon?Our satellite has endured countless blows over millions of years - and astronomers think this one could be a useful accident.www.bbc.co.uk

Couldn't have happened to a bigger cunt. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Newspaper columnist and broadcaster Rod Liddle dies aged 66The columnist died in hospital in Middlesbrough on Sunday.www.bbc.co.uk

Absolutely fatal blow dealt. 👏

Can we just ban Chris Philp?