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Why is it an insult to call some place a “one-horse town?” They’re doing okay. They’ve got a horse

woah marketplace going for my jugular

just became aware of William Howard Taft’s 1908 campaign poster

guys we are lost in the blair witch woods im gonna need you to stop arguing and lock the fuck in

“Happens to the best of us” does not explain why it’s happening to me

You should be able to order a firefly to your home. The delivery guy should arrive at your door with cupped hands and gently release it into your living room. And the two of you should stand there and watch it together with silent reverence

You sneak into my office and see a ship in a bottle. Looking closer, you see tiny crewmembers screaming for help. I'm suddenly behind you.

Telescopes probably use mirrors which means there is absolutely no way to know how many vampires there are in space.

Nearly two dozen Red Wolf pups were born in the wild this spring in North Carolina The 23 pups born in the wild this year marked the most since 2013. While not all the pups ultimately survived, their arrival briefly doubled the number of Red Wolves living on the landscape.🙌🔗 wapo.st/4vEWa1a

Red wolves, once nearly wiped out, had a spring baby boom in North CarolinaThe births are a boon to efforts to revive the species, which was once nearly hunted to extinction.wapo.st

If you want to read a book and your library doesn’t have it, it is truly a massive favor to an author to request that the library acquire it. It really and truly is

Pay the toll

love going to a random independent hardware store and seeing some cursed old timey candy called like dr oddley’s digestive licorices

when my phone is fully charged: (calm, rational) hello when i’m on 2%: (wild-eyed, sweaty) i must know the filming locations for vertigo immediately

Alas, poor Yorick! Dude lowkey fell off, Horatio

Corn Lady's Husband: DO NOT READ. Corn Lady: Hellote...

Heard they put your name forward to hold dominion over beast and man alike..congrats man

Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward locking in and really taking your problem to the next level

i see people post pictures of themselves in the stands at baseball games and all i can do is ask myself: why aren't they eating that nice grass? it looks delicious

hey, I just met Zeus and this is crazy but he's a swan and I'm having babies

By far the funniest moment in Homer’s Odyssey is when Circe says, “Shall we have sex?” and Odysseus says, “You just turned all my men into pigs. You have the GALL to think I would sleep with you? Of course I will. Absolutely. But don’t do any weird spells”