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you ever sit there and think about how the seafloor drops off precipitously on the west coast but not on the east coast? and what that means about how people are? yeah

it's 9:47 at night and the dewpoint is 75 squelching degrees so even though the air temp has cooled down some i still can't open the windows and cool the house down, i'm not trying to invite the swamp in

today someone at work told me i looked like ilya, yes, that one, and i said well first of all he would be wearing something sluttier

waiting for the bus this morning and a dude biked past wearing a tshirt that said "have you had your nookie today? i did!"

i do not have time to scroll through 1000+ quote posts but i scrolled through a bunch of them and did not find the oscillating fan bit yet "do you have 3 settings? liar!! my fan fucking lied to me"

this total stranger was correct and my kid is a natural. at stilts. somehow

so earlier today my kid went over to a friend's house and brought his pogo stick, figuring his friend and her sister might want to try it out (they didn't, oh well), and when we were heading home and he was bouncing along the sidewalk, one of the friend's neighbors comes out and says wait

christ it took me several minutes and multiple deletes to make 2 very simple posts. the internet and i are in a fight

this too

reskeeting this in honor of the sloppy joe conversation that's going around

i can go days without having anything interesting to say but i get notified that in order to migrate my shit to another pds, i have to not post for a bit and suddenly i'm like "but what if i suddenly come up with the best thoughts i've ever had in that specific 15 minute window"

assuming the point is grandparents and not the specific 100 years date, i would be farming or being a mailman or working at the makeup counter at the department store. i would be useless at the last one but i think i could hang on the farm

do you ever think about how for a few years, there was always a low but not zero chance that the jackass guys would show up at your store or playground or street you're walking down and like, hit each other in the balls a lot and knock things over

i have a complex enough brain to be able to hold these two thoughts at the same time: - kill the cringe cop in your head - more people should be embarrassed when they act embarrassingly

[to the tune of "pee in the elevator" by the planet smashers] poop in the mosh pit

post a meme you have never gotten to use

have they invented a word yet for the way a body part feels when it's about to hurt? because my back is doing that

i need doctor's offices to understand that if i get a notification on patient gateway, it gives me no information about what it's about until i click through, and i have to wonder if this is something affecting my health or whether it is "the office will be closed next weds"

for me this manifests whenever i am faced with a situation and respond with "aduh!"

what on earth can i have done to deserve a zit on my SHIN