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Fuck me man, can we announce a fucking manager please? #NUFC

18 days until the PL season begins and we still don't formally have a manager in place. That's the real issue here. #NUFC

OK so everyone on TV is agreeing we should have built more prison places. But nobody's asking whether they should have spent their previous times on the telly box laughing about Boris Johnson saying "wiff-waff" and talking about "Chaos with Ed Miliband;" Instead of asking about new prison places...?

It's like a bad re-make of The Death of Stalin on the #NUFC hashtag tonight lol.

Literally my only concerns about this Bruno issue are that (a) we get the right money for him and (b) it is in no way distracting RW from the real work in hand of bringing players in. I'm still pretty confident on both scores tbh. #NUFC

Reet lads, the truth is finally out. Some jackass accidently hoyed the Matthias Jaissle paperwork in the bin wagon. Sleeves up and eyes doon... #NUFC

Bejo Searching in a Pile of TrashALT: Bejo Searching in a Pile of Trashstatic.klipy.com

Bought this on Temu for £80m so now they can't afford Bruno. Sad part is, it's only 4 inches high IRL. #NUFC

I like this. Just basic journalism, but it's so deeply submerged in an ocean of click-focussed shite these days, that it comes across as refreshing. A bit like your first plate of beans on toast after a week away eating rich and spicy food. #NUFC

I took a day off today and there's literally fug aaaall #NUFC news and it's greyer than Mitch McConnell's corpse out there. WTF is this maaaan???

You can genuinely see why Fr Dougal was confused mind.