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2️⃣and I try to be as calm as possible unless as situation demands a real reaction. some types of folks are deeply attracted to that..for a bit. and I'm noticing a decided pattern in my life of people being *VERY* into me for a while and then? sudden drop off. Its an unfortunate reality.

Shan Wolf

26 июл., 10:33

3️⃣To some, the take away would be "well then, after a certain amount of time, I should just regularly flip out. that'll keep folks interested" but obviously that's a shitty take. For me, I think I need to become more wary of the folks I date, and how "into me" they seem right off the bat.

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Shan Wolf

26 июл., 10:33

4️⃣I'm not blaming anyone for their mental illness (nor am I saying that the only people who want to get with me are themselves mentally ill.) but it *is* a reoccuring pattern that I'd like to break, and that takes decision making and filtering people out in non-ableist ways (if I can)

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Shan Wolf

26 июл., 10:33

5️⃣This is complicated by the fact that I have weirdly fucked up self esteem, and I can't lie and say I *don't* enjoy the attention. I clearly *do* but I'm also finding it's bad for my mental health overall to have someone be all about me rrriiiight up until they point that they aren't.