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Too busy munching on Prometheus's innards.

He was too big, Ken. This is swallow/coconut discourse.

😝

Layover in Buffalo

Sir, this is nerd rage bait. 😂🤣😂🤣😂

Max Rockatansky Says 'That's Bait' MemeALT: Max Rockatansky Says 'That's Bait' Memestatic.klipy.com

Because that wouldn't have been realistic!

What is “dramatic tension?” Sorry, no. Calvin? What is “plot development”? Right you are! You have control of the board.

They were living it up at the Hotel California

Lord of the Rings of fallen comrades cursed by the gods.

I think you mean Sam & Frodo to Mt. Doom?

Have you seen the fees they charge lately

Eagles are very proud, majestic birds, and they are not there to be your own personal Uber. @williambibbiani.bsky.social

Back in those days, eagles tied you to rocks and ate your liver, every day.

Because Merlin wouldn't let them.

bsky.app/profile/magg...

Cuz they were too busy out riding fences

He could have just clicked his heels and said “There’s no place like home”

Tush Push works better imo

His credit card was denied

[P] GO BIRDS!

Sam Eagle is not amused

The Muppets: Sam Eagle's 'You Are All Weirdos'ALT: The Muppets: Sam Eagle's 'You Are All Weirdos'static.klipy.com

Because they would be spotted by the Nazgul.

Too busy talking to the chicken

NFL CBA says you can't charter flights for free agents.

Ken.

The seagulls work for Posiden. They may not be as formidable as eagles, but they're super annoying and no bird wants to deal with them.

Because Philadelphians find it too much fun to watch Odysseus struggle (go birds!)

They were busy eating Prometheus’s liver.

Because winter was coming.

Why didn't Nolan cast real New Yorkers

They will explain in one of the prequels that the Caucasian Eagle was busy eternally eating the liver of Prometheus, the Eagle of Zeus was up to hijinx with Ganymede, and the Stymphalian Birds had all been driven away by Heracles. All that was left was a suspiciously virile swan that gave bad vibes.

Because they're from Philly and it's out of jurisdiction!

Read somewhere that it would take 14 hrs to drive from Hisarlik in Turkey (where most scholars believe Troy was) to Ithaca. But no...had to take a leisurely cruise.

They tried but ran into flight time limitations. Odysseus was stuck on the tarmac for 20 years

Philly couldn't afford the charter?

The CGI just wasn't as good in ancient Greece

They flew him to the Hotel California, and now he can never leave

I see what you did there 😉

He got stuck in the Hotel California.

My best guess is: because.

Same reason the eagles didn't take Gandalf and the hobbits straight to the Lonely Mountain. Eagles are dicks.

because they checked into a hotel that they could never leave

Was Odysseus a Cornell man?

BC's rivalry with the Bombers was just too strong.

That would have made for a rather short and uninteresting epic poem, Ken.

ancient greek historian here: at the time there were no direct flights to ithaca due to infrastructure issues so a layover in hades was required

they just play songs, dude

apparently you haven't heard the rules of hotel California

Because he wasn't Gandalf and didn't speak eagle.

Deregulation...

Why didn’t that absolute chaos monkey not just walk. It’d have taken him a coupla months or so.

Because of the NASCAR.

Legend has it these were the first words of baby Diogenes

No airport. Usually we had to fly into Syracuse or more often, missed the connection and had to drive from Newark. Scranton-Wilkes Barre and Binghamton also options.

Why didn't Odysseus just tack into the wind?

If the eagles are flying Odysseus to Ithaca, who is eating Prometheus's liver every day?

They weren’t in the union.

banger

Zeus said no.

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😂😂😂

NO SPOILERS, KEN

Did the eagles bring him some steamed hams?

You'll have to ask The Eagles, 'cause I can't tell you why, no-no baby, I can't tell you whyyy-YYYY

They whole eagles bit is just a way to extend the narrative with a dangling sub clause.

Fuel tanks weren't large enough

New York?

I made this joke yesterday. I'm glad it was funny enough that Ken Jennings also thought of it.

they would have mistaken it for utica

NO ONE goes to Ithaca in the summer.

From Troy, yet. You take I-90 west.

Kevin Patullo.

The question is always “Why didn’t the eagles?”. Haven’t you seen TLOR?

Because they were stupid

Dude.... it's not as if they had Gandalf... um... never mind.

The Greeks actually came up with the myth of Icarus to stop people from asking this question.

Maybe the same reason Gandalf didn't just give the ring to the eagles. "Just drop this into Mount Doom for me, there's a good bird. Frodo, put the kettle on." Would have made for a shorter book/film.

You're not supposed to ask the questions anymore

Ken.

They were pre-booked by Frodo and Sam

As my son tells me, "Stop poking holes in the story, mom."

Was that Week 12 in Buffalo? Completely doable…damn eagles

Because the eagles opened the wind bag and blew them off course.

Those eagles could make the Kessel run in 12 parses. Its an obvious choice.

They had some Hobbits to pick up?

Because Gwaihir would not have been able to resist the power or the One Ring, and would have become the Darklord of the entire Eurasian landmass.

Fool stop.

For the same reason they didn't tell Dorothy her slippers would take her home at the beginning of Oz: it's bad theater.

Quite simply Homer said no.

Because they aren’t like chickens and didn’t want to get to the other side.

What happened to your gollum vow of no dad jokes? Maybe Odysseus would have thought he died and it was his coming raptor into heaven ?

I'll take what is Lord Of The Rings for $600

Also kind of pissed Homer decided not to include the glorious Tom Bombadil.

Well for one The Eagles didn’t exist until 1971.

because the Eagles are from Philadelphia and didn't want to help a Pats fan get to New York.

Because #Eagles can’t do that

Or to a Five Guys

DEI probably

they were too busy being the SUPERBOWL CHAMPS BABY

Because Ithaca is gorges and the eagles that big can't maneuver in gorges very well

Too busy chowing down on unlimited liver with Prometheuscode Fire10.

It’s the off season, they’re in Cabo

“Fly, you fools” was Priam telling Odysseus to hitch a ride with the Sirens after the goblins overtook Troy. It is not about Athena’s transformation into an actual eagle. God, did you even read the Fagles translation?

Brad Pitt's Troy: They Call Me... Troy!ALT: Brad Pitt's Troy: They Call Me... Troy!static.klipy.com

The eagles were Colgate alums, that's why 😁

Colgate–Cornell football rivalry - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.org

They were too busy rescuing Bilbo from the goblins, is how I think it went?

One word. Harpies.

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One does not simply walk across the Ionian Sea...

because Joe Walsh's Maserati does 185

Well that was the way it went in the original 10 page version but it turns out that the publishers demanded more.

They were busy snatching up "cup bearers" for Zeus.

Because he was a complicated man

And risk missing out on Prometheus' Daily All-You-Can-Eat Liver Buffet?

Because the Cortica Jug was held in Yankee Stadium that year.

The smell of the Dapper Dan put them off

George Clooney: I'm a Dapper Dan Man!ALT: George Clooney: I'm a Dapper Dan Man!static.klipy.com

I came here for the Lord of the Rings comparison. I wasn't disappointed.

😂

what is weight to airspeed ratio

because Gwaihir the King of Eagles couldn't make the flight calculations with the spice production shut down

How dare you bring Middle Earth into this 🤣🤣

They were in Philly at the time.

Perfectly timed post in my feed Because the eagles were busy at the beach

Crazy strong headwinds. Probably an El Niño year.

You can't fly direct from Troy, I guess.

They had to stop in Atlanta, of course.

It had to regularly fly over to peck out Prometheus' liver.

Lots of Ithaca love these days. After suffering through the Odyssey and three years of Latin (which was amazing), I was so happy with the concentration of borrowed town/burg/city names after I moved to upstate NY.

Have to change planes at Dulles.

Maybe they do in the abridged version?

What, and get rid of all the fun?

Why didn’t they fly Frodo straight to Mt Doom?

i think they were stuck in a hotel or something

Odysseus didn't send them the signal by singing "Fly Eagles Fly"

Because that would make for a dumb story.

Because Glenn Frey and Don Henley were fighting again.

Did you know when Odysseus kicks his helmet, he really broke his toe and wasn’t acting?

Ithaca doesn't really do direct flights. Usually you have to go through Syracuse.

They were stuck in an hotel in California, probably

Their fans were too busy throwing quarters at Santa and it was distracting

I’m trying to write a Jets joke that involves Cortland and ICE but there’s nothing funny about ICE using the Jets’ jet

Because they were "already gone"

Because of poor media literacy, people thought the eagles' wings would fall if if they flew too close to the sun. We just assume people misremembering mythology is a modern thing but I'm sure back in the day people were always getting crap like that wrong.

this is also my critique of anything in the Hobbit

Either that or Mina’s Tirith.

I ugly snorted

They were too busy saving Gandalf’s ass

The TSA has him on a no-fly list...

Because Apollo would see him coming a mile away and shoot him down, I can't believe people are still arguing about this

It Odyssues fault for leaving the port key at home with Dobby

I shared this with the 14yo, and she said that the “eagles were linked to Zeus, and he had problems with Odysseus” and she’s absolutely right.

Well now the movie is completely ruined for me.

They’re not “THE Eagles”. They’re just “Eagles”.

Why didn't Elrond and Gandalf have the Eagles fly Frodo right to Mount Doom? These are the questions we ask ourselves...

He was afraid of ending up in Hotel California

Because Rod Serling didn't want him in Ithaca.

For the same reason Jedis don’t seem to use the force unless it moves the story along.

Go Birds

Why didn't Gandalf just fly the ring straight to the volcano?

Because they had to get to Middle Earth for another gig.

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Because he was wait-listed.

Who do the eagles report to in the Homer-verse? I don't think any of the Greek gods are as helpful as Manwe

Antinous would have shot them down with the Ant-Wing.

They were too busy scoring touchdowns.

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I misinterpreted this as referring to the band.

Because they need to stay under the salary cap, and they have some big free agents to sign?? Anyway, I still trust Howie Roseman

The Ithaca airport only has direct flights to JFK and Dulles

Grounded by Aeolus

Because woke

Nobody said they would

Nobody goes to Ithaca, NY. The ticket was too expensive. The seats were too narrow. The Eagles only fly in Philly dreams.

Sir.

Working on it

Because, it turns out that he was actually dead the whole time and that's why his wife didn't talk to him at dinner.

To get to the other side. Oh wait. That’s chickens.

Things that makes movies lousy for $100

same reason the eagles didn't just fly the hobbits to mt. doom - plot armor.

What is "because he could check out but could never leave"?