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“My work is done here.”

“Here’s our offseason plan: bring LeBron back, no matter the cost. Backchannel to Wemby that he should hold off on signing an extension with the Spurs. We’ll pay him $500 million next year. Then we just sign every top free agent.” “Uh…okay, Mark. But what about the NBA salary cap?” “The what now?”

This feels so fucking wrong. Fuck Jeff Bezos. Also, I know they tried and the whole Washington Star thing fell through, but NOTUS has GOT to change that fucking name.

People mock the “Voters go for the candidate they’d rather have a beer with” thing, but it’s true. Mamdani and El-Sayed are charismatic and fast on their feet. Hong was the complete opposite of that. So as I watch leftists melt down this morning…I dunno, try picking candidates who aren’t idiots.

The haters said a barely-coherent gubernatorial primary candidate in a purple state who declared that Thanksgiving should be abolished and would have lost the general election in a once-in-a-generation landslide, couldn't do it. And they were correct. Honestly great call from the haters.

Based on that one inning, I’m running an AI simulation to figure out how many more games the Nationals would have won if Mikolas had been in the bullpen all season instead of the rotation. Hang on. It’s calculating… Holy shit! They’d be 115-5!!!

When you ascend to the bullpen.

Holy shit. This dude has a chance!

I feel bad for the woman in this story. I do. But Jesus Christ, if you buy a refurbished phone and then a “deputy” calls and says you owe a $15,000 fine for missing jury duty and instructs you to pay it off with crypto you get from a convenience store… Come on, man. www.wsj.com/us-news/the-...

The ‘Jury Duty’ Scam That Cost This Family $25,000In a growing ruse, swindlers pose as cops and use tremendous pressure to trap people, including young professionals.www.wsj.com

I’m bummed that 30 years after Disclosure came out, we’re still just clicking on PDFs like chumps, instead of putting on VR goggles and gloves, walking down a virtual hallway, opening virtual filing cabinets, and reviewing documents page-by-page.

No game today. Irvin is scheduled to start tomorrow. Mikolas is scheduled for Wednesday. EXCEPT….Wednesday would be Kent’s seventh day without pitching. So it makes sense for him to debut then. And Herz is just a week or two from returning. Seems like we’re officially on Mikolas DFA watch?

Hell of a way to find out that D.C. is getting a second MLB team.

Uh…I’ve seen plenty of videos on YouTube where a passenger simply had a mild argument with a flight attendant during boarding, is escorted off the plane by police, arrested, and banned from the airport. So how does “We’re taking over this flight” turn out to be an innocent misunderstanding?

The '80s were great because you could make a movie where a 30 year-old Arliss Howard plays a cop who goes undercover as a high school student, and they play it completely straight. None of those 21 Jump Street “You look old as shit!” jokes here. Everyone just accepts it. It was a more innocent time.

I owe an apology to the fans on Reddit who said their team should trade their fifth and sixth-best prospects for Wood. Or suggested that they could get him AND Abrams for their second-best prospect and “some other guys.” At the time, this seemed insulting. Now I see they were right and I was wrong.

“Aaron? Tom, from Sony. You know how you said you had wanted to add a post-credits scene to The Social Reckoning, but you couldn’t think of anything good? How fast can you and Jeremy Strong get to Alaska?” alaskabeacon.com/briefs/cruis...

Cruise ship helps stranded skiff and crew in Southeast Alaska as Zuckerberg yacht stands by | Alaska BeaconThe billionaire Facebook founder's yacht has been a regular fixture in Southeast Alaska waters this summer, but it drew ire this week.alaskabeacon.com

Since I spend a lot of time calling the Lerners cheap, I’ll give them credit for eschewing whatever small amount of revenue they’d gain by having a virtual ad in centerfield, in favor of a nicer-looking broadcast. MASN used one. Peacock uses one. It’s just unbelievably ugly. MLB should ban them.

I never want to hear that sound come out of a baseball player again. 😬

The guy who Yankees fans all but fell to their knees last week and thanked God to finally be rid of? This should go well. Also, I get this is photoshopped, but I love how annoyed he looks to be a National.

It must have been tough for Max Scherzer to have Turner and Harper hit back-to-back home runs off him. But the important thing is that after the game, these guys can sit back, have a good laugh, and talk about how great it is that they all have World Series rings. …Oh. Shit. Sorry, Bryce.